"Cake! Everybody loves cake!" - Donkey (Shrek, 2001)
And he's right... but do you know what else everybody loves? Milkshakes. if anyone ever tells you otherwise, they're stupid, a liar, or just plain wrong.
A few years back I saw one of those videos on YouTube that makes you drool over the offerings of some restaurant or food truck in some other city or country. You know the ones. This time around, it was for a burger and shake shop in Chicago called Portillo's. Aside from delicious-looking burgers, Portillo's has been put on the map by their two-tiered chocolate cake. It doesn't end there though because the true desert at Portillo's, the real reason to stop by for lunch, is their chocolate cake milkshakes! That's right. Portillo's makes a vanilla milkshake and then drops an entire piece of their famous chocolate cake in and then keeps mixing.
When I saw this, I knew I had to have it.
Making It At Home
Now, I don't know about you, but for me, swinging by an eatery is a complicated and lengthy process that involves things like passports. Don't get me wrong, this milkshake looks incredible and like I said, I HAD TO HAVE IT, but there had to be an easier way to make this happen.
It began with a search for a milkshake maker. Yeah, we have a blender, but there's just something about that old diner-style milkshake maker with the metal cup that gets the consistency just right. So I hopped on Amazon and hopped right back off the second I saw the prices. SCREW THAT. Luckily, I remembered my favorite store of all time, the store where I bought my waffle iron at - Value Village. So, for the next few weeks, we would go to Value Village on a semi-regular basis and look for one. For a while, this was seeming hopeless. Everyone we came across either was broken, missing a piece, or would make a funny noise when you plugged it in. Finally after a few weeks, there she was... a beautiful '60's green Hamilton Beach.
Next was the cake selection. In the video, Portillo's uses a moist-looking fudgy chocolate cake - nothing fancy. So, the first time we made this milkshake, that's what we used too. We may have overestimated the amount of batter we would need, cause in the end we had a cake with four layers instead of two, but it was amazing. Creamy, rich, and full of cakey chunks - this was easily the best milkshake I had ever had.
Here's How To Do It Yourself
Start by buying yourself some Red Velvet Cake mix. Even though the original recipe calls for regular chocolate, we all know that Red Velvet is better. Also, quality of the cake doesn't really matter a bunch here because you are just gonna stick it in a cake, so get the cheap stuff. Also, you'll need some cream cheese frosting.
Get some Vanilla ice cream. This is an area where you don't want to skimp. If you get crumby ice cream, or worse... that "frozen milk product" crap, the whole thing will crumble. *French Vanilla is also acceptable.
Buy some milk. Don't make this complicated. It doesn't really matter what percentage you get, but I can't make any promises about the outcome if you start messing with nut or oat milk.
Fill your metal cup halfway with ice cream and milk. You're gonna just have to get a feel for the ratio yourself. Then mix these until they're they are milkshakey-smooth.
Add a LARGE slice of your cake (if you haven't already figured out that you needed to bake the cake, I can't help you). It's probably best just to go with the four layers.
Mix it all together and add additional milk and ice cream as you need to.
Pour that sucker into a glass, grab a spoon (the chunks of cake don't work well with a straw) and ENJOY!!
Make this happen! Have fun with it. Above all else, make sure you take pictures and send them to me @BRADYTVOfficial!!
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